Day 312

New Year’s Eve and my excitement may be staying awake until 9 PM to watch the ball drop in New York City. Yesterday I made tarp tents for the lemon trees that I will deploy tomorrow evening and continue as long as the freeze is an issue. I piled material from the bales around the bases of both trees. I don’t know how to protect the greens except covering them loosely. Maybe today the household will get attention. Not promising anything. 

Day 311

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Today I’ ll get the pipes wrapped before the temperature dips into the hard freeze zone. The lemon tree needs protection and I’ll figure out how to cover the green produce on the bales. The freeze starts on Sunday, January 1^st and I wonder if it’s a sign of climate changes. I will pull myself out of the comfort zone to vacuum the rugs and dust. The house shows my lack of physical energy and the blank pages show my mental desert.

Day 310

The MRI experience was easy. The breeze helped and I kept my eyes closed. Today I have a dermatologist appointment to take off the “barnacles” that are a bother. Senior center duty after a week away is appealing. I can only spend a few days alone before it gets too comfortable. I need to get out and do something useful on a regular basis. Gene and Carol are home. My key didn’t work so I couldn’t warm their house for them. 

Day 309

Breszny offered topics for writing in his horoscope: appreciation, imagination, and shadow washing. I have lots to say about these. I need acknowledgement rather than appreciation. I need to know that I am part of a group and connected. Imagination is missing at this time. I wish I knew how to court the muse to bring new ideas. The shadow needs washing. I carry old misdeeds, miscommunications, old beliefs, and  wants that make the shadow heavier than it needs to be.

Day 308

I am word poor. It’s been too long since I wrote a new POH for the Sunday blog. No words come or memories that I wish to put down in black and white. Maybe it’s the dark time or the grief I’m feeling for the future of our country. I want to pull myself up and do the work required to carry on with my life. My paper journal calls and I don’t answer. I know I have stories to tell.

Day 307

No agenda for the day after Christmas. We had a comfortable family day and a delicious meal. All in all, it was the celebration that we wanted. I have things I could take care of today like finishing up the cupboard straightening in the kitchen. I want to get out for a walk in the brisk air. It’s white outside and cozy inside. Wish I had a pithy statement about life. I guess counting my blessings is always a good thing. 

Day 306

The church was beautiful as was the singing. I enjoyed the service. Today Hollie and I will prepare a simple meal: roast beef, potatoes, Brussels sprouts, fruit salad, and that’s all. We have streamlined holidays and I’m comfortable without frills. It is white outside and I won’t go out for a walk until there is no ice on the car. One more week of 2016 and I’m praying for miracles. I want this anxiety and grief to be replaced with joy.

POH

One Christmas, my daughter Hollie and I decided to save all our coins for a year and give them to my granddaughter Megan on the next Christmas. We dumped the pile of coins on the floor and all joined in sorting and piling and counting the coins. When they were counted and rolled, we had enough to plan a trip together.  New York City was our choice. We country people were going to the big city across the country.

I went to the travel agent and made the arrangements, bought the tickets, chose the Broadway play, purchased the travelers’ checks, and all the necessary organizational items. We left on January 8, 2002,  and had breakfast in San Francisco airport with me finding the closest restaurant to our gate.  Megan called her mother to tell her what we were doing. In Denver, I said, “Let’s get ice cream cones and walk backwards on the moving sidewalk”, and we did. After landing at the New York airport, we were whisked away to our hotel where we fell into bed after this very long day. 

First morning in the Big Apple.  We dressed in warm clothes and headed for the elevator.  On the street, following the directions from the doorman, we headed the two blocks to Times Square.  There was the sea of people, heads down, bundled with scarves and hats against the 40 degree morning, all walking fast.  I did not know how to get started. As I stood there overwhelmed by the thundering herd of people, the honking horns, roar of traffic, and too too much input, Megan grabbed my hand and said, “Let’s go, Grandma.” Suddenly she was leading me through the crowd like a quarterback going for the goal line. She had already spotted places she wanted to visit, such as Virgin Records, and Toy’s R Us with the full sized Ferris wheel in the window. Just those two stores had more people in them than live in our whole county! She saw the “naked cowboy”, the sign for the visitor’s center, the direction to the tour bus, and I simply followed her.  The role reversal was dramatic and lasted for the eight days of our trip.  The only time I was comfortable was seven in the morning when I would walk around the block and stop at Starbucks to bring coffee back to the hotel. I figured I could make four left turns and end up where I started. Megan ventured out to shop with the confidence of an eighteen year old to find gifts to bring home to her friends. We went to see Phantom of the Opera on Broadway and I do not think her back ever touched the back of her seat.  She perched on the front edge and absorbed the whole wonderful event, noticing everything like a sponge soaking up water. We went to Brooklyn and Fulton’s Landing one night. She asked where the World Trade Center towers should have been. The man said, “See that big black hole. It used to shine with a thousand lights.” She found our way to the Guggenheim museum, the MOMA, Tiffany’s, and the Met.  I followed. While I am squeezing my eyes tight, and having while knuckles, she is enjoying the rides in New York taxis.

On the way home, she again let me do the leading through airports and baggage carousels, until we were back in our little village by the sea, full to bursting with all the sights and sounds of the big city. See what a collection of coins can do to make a Christmas wish come true!

Day 305

Christmas Eve and that means nothing in our family. I am thankful that we gave it up years ago: no tree, no presents, no cards, no stress except the bombardment from commercials. I stay out of stores after Thanksgiving. It is a relief to be honest about Christmas. I will go to church at 7 to sing carols and participate in the service. That is all the tribute this season gets. Then we move on to the usual business of life.

day 304

Another good nights’ sleep and walking with no pain. The exercises work on managing the pain. I need to keep it up and enjoy the results. Yesterday was another good one. After a long spell of seasonal depression, a positive attitude reminds me who I am. It has rained all night and hopefully a break will happen for at least a quick walk outside. It’s so much more satisfying to be in the open air in spite of the cold wind.

Day 303

Finally have the pills after another Walgreen’s misadventure. I do not like that store! Two good walks outside and lunch with Megan. I pulled a few weeds as it is easy in the wet soil. Lots more to do on the dry days. One wish fulfilled: someone stole the satellite dish that was on the front lawn. It was supposed to go to the dump and now it’s somewhere else. Today I’m looking forward to senior center duty. And walking again.

Day 302

Karen’s massage led to a good night’s sleep! Best rest in weeks. It will make for a better day. Still not connected to the prescription. Two and a half weeks and still no pills for my sore joints. No agenda except groceries. I will get a brief walk but not push it. Rest has helped with the pain. I’m concerned about slowing down. Is this the future? Walking has been part of my day for as long as I can remember.

Day 301

Yesterday started well and the afternoon, not so much. Danette came and fixed the  computer glitches for me but the external hard drive would not back up successfully. Then Mrs. Tyler finally called regarding the prescription followed by Walgreen’s call that my insurance has a problem. Egads. I went to bed. The horrible orange man got in my rest and I had to get up at midnight and walk before I could sleep again. I’ll see Karen for massage this afternoon.

Day 300

Before I go into the senior center for duty, I will go next door to the doctors’ office and ask for the prescription that was promised two weeks ago at my appointment. The other items have been scheduled. I need help with the pain. It is running my life and that’s not okay. I am doing the exercises and doing what walking the leg will allow followed by a little prancing on the rebounder. Sometimes that doesn’t work either. Get moving.

Day 299

Sunday. After church, when it warms up as much as it’s going to warm, I’ll walk. I have the ingredients for a vegetable soup and that will be fun to make and eat. The farm stand was busy and full of harvest foods. I enjoy going there and supporting local industry. Other than that, I sat, watched old Christmas movies, and ate. Must be a little seasonal depression, grief from the collective, or simply not motivated. Pain slows me down.

Day 298

I’m going to the farm stand after the ice melts off the car. I want potatoes, cabbage, carrots, and whatever else looks like I can use it. Megan is home from school for her mid-term break after finals. I had two walks outside yesterday. I was having pain but did it anyway. Slow but out walking. I have an appointment for an MRI on the hip bones to see what is going on in there. I want to be moving well.

Day 297

Another day of clear and cold. It’s a relief after the drenching rain. The dogs have a date with the groomer while I get errands taken care of. Chicken soup is cooking and I am up for a good day. Yes, exercise first. It’s been ten days and even though I exercise while prancing on the rebounder, it is not the same as getting on the mat and toning the core. I miss using my body well. Story group was wonderful

Day 296

Planning a routine day, at last. First exercise, then prepare for duty at the senior center. I’m looking forward to getting out with people. Later, a short walk outside as I get ready for my writing/story group. I look forward to the group. It is often the high point in the week. My sore joint is still reminding me of overdoing and I will pay attention. The problem is that it doesn’t hurt until after I have offended. Life is good.

Day 295

Yesterday was nearly normal. My bones were sore but held me up and allowed for walking outside. The board meeting ended sadly with the good-byes to David and Martha. I may be inspired to write a letter to the editor. This morning I will get my blood test done after 8 AM. Hollie is coming over later to visit and that’s it for an agenda. It is wet and windy and will continue so I may not get an outside walk.

Day 294

Woke up feeling well! I can walk almost normally for a few steps and that’s improvement. I will get my exercises done before a trip to the store. Later, board of supervisors meeting and then a quiet afternoon. I still have a bit of congestion in my sinuses but sneezing is way less. Cillay called yesterday. She talks and talks and calls it a conversation. I have to interrupt to say anything. I guess she is lonely. My life is full.

Day 293

Fewer sneezing episodes. My right leg doesn’t want to hold me up but it is not as painful. Today I asked Hollie to take Minnie to the vet for her rabies vaccination and well dog exam. I will also ask her to do a little shopping for bananas and toilet paper. I not so dull and grumpy so must be on the healing road. Maybe I can get the prescription that was promised last Monday and I haven’t connected with yet.

POH

Back in 1966, I was teaching in Hydesville in a K-8 school with five teachers. Everybody did double duty. I taught Kindergarten in the morning, fourth grade math while that teacher was teaching science to the 7^th and 8^th grade. Later I would go into the 7^th grade for English while the teacher did his half time principal job. It was a family, close and mutually supportive. Alice was my teaching friend and she and I did the construction of programs, meetings, PTS stuff, all the community gatherings. At graduation, Alice and I decorated, placed chairs, made programs, organized the students who were presenting, etc. everything. At four o’clock, she and I borrowed a pick up truck and drove into Fortuna to pick up the punch and the cake. We went to the Town Club first and the guy put the milk jug of punch right inside the tailgate so we could get it out easier. Then to the Adventist Bakery for the cake. The baker carried the cake and put it right behind the cab so the wind wouldn’t blow the lid off. Then we headed back to Hydesville. A car came across in front of Alice and she slammed on the brakes. The milk can did a little dance up the bed of the truck and laid down on the cake. The other driver stopped to apologize and when he saw how upset we were, he said, What’s the matter? Did you break a cake? We scurried back to the bakery where they were ready to close and they built us another cake. We got back to school just as the parents were coming in for the graduation ceremony.  We carried the broken cake into the break room and cut out a piece for the principal that read, Ass of “66.

Day 292

Today will be a replay of yesterday. Snooze, sneeze, prance during commercials, watch lots of sugary hallmark Christmas movies and comfortable to be quiet and rest. The week could improve and I’m hoping to catch up by Wednesday. No agenda except the routine and I miss it. I miss walking most of all. It has been part of my day for years and I want it to be for years to come. I can get my joints to work well again.

Day 291

Still no prescription. By the time I connect with it, I won’t need it. The leg pain is less with all the resting. I miss walking! Just prancing on the rebounder is a good thing but not the same as strutting down the street in the wind and rain and whatever the weather. Today I’ll rest some more. Coughing and sneezing too. And a mild case of seasonal depression. Oh well, I know my life is good and I am blessed.

Day 290

I found spam and pita. Good filling food. Still have a right leg that doesn’t want to hold my weight but it is modestly improved with all the resting. I did exercise and will again today even though the cold symptoms have landed and added to my misery. The senior center was busy and I’m glad I went. I wouldn’t feel any better staying home and I was useful. Today I will connect with my prescription and fill my empty cupboards.

Day 289

Blah. Another nothing day but aching, coughing and staring at TV. Today I will decide if I want to go to the senior center for duty or stay in again. I really need to get out with people and my cupboard is bare. One need or the other must get filled. I’m not good at staying quietly waiting for health to resume. I will get the mat down and see how the exercises go. Then I’ll scrounge for something to eat

Day 288

Didn’t go to Sarah. Didn’t step outside. Rosie and I worked on the Forgiveness session. On top of the leg pain I have a cold. Rest and ice helped the leg a bit but it doesn’t hold my weight so I have a strange walking gait that is making my whole body sore. Today will be a repeat of sitting, icing, whining, and hoping for rest. I could write or color, clean closets or kitchen cupboards, or sit and watch TV.

Day 287

Walking didn’t happen and I missed it a lot. I didn’t exercise but did my senior center duty and little else. The medical appointment was informative and produced further appointments for an MRI, skin doctor, blood tests, a new prescription to help with the pain, and giving a history to Deborah. I have never had a medical person ask as many questions as she did! Today Rosie and I will work on the program and Sarah will iron out my kinks.

Day 286

Had a kind of sick evening, coughing and sneezing. The bone pain lasted longer and I’m tired and achy. Still busy with the curriculum for our conscious aging program. I printed eleven pages and then the printer wouldn’t do page 12! I don’t know why or how to fix it. Today is clear and cold and I will walk after senior center duty. Then I will have my first visit with Deb Tyler who took Tonda’s place at my medical office.

Day 285

Or sit and watch old movies and long for an interruption or motivation. Bone pain made for short walks, one with dogs. Maybe it’s the cold snap but I’m not doing well with walking out the pain as I usually do. I don’t like being confined. Today after church, I will work at the Christmas Bazaar for the museum. I like being part of community functions. I see lots of people I know and swap howdies and quick catch up conversations.

Day 284

Day 284

Yesterday was blah. Bone pain and a case of the grumpy attitude. I did get out for a walk and that was all. Today is an improvement already. No agenda but I can be creative about time and energy. I can study the conscious aging program and plan our next meeting. The way time shoots by is scary. I can get creative about food too and explore a new recipe. It’s a subject that I often think about but rarely do.

Day 283

Yesterday was good starting with exercise and setting up for fun. I warmed up the car with a highway drive before going to the senior center. Charlie shared a game that had us laughing hard and enjoying each other. Later Dr. Allen came for an appointment and it was good to see him and catch up. Hollie came after her visit with Judy and the dog community was happy to see her. Then the writing story group that was pure enjoyment.

Day 282

The housework bug bit me and resulted in clean floors, moved furniture, and feeling good about my ability to keep house. I was thinking about hiring Sheila but I can do it myself. Still deciding about a new hot tub. May not, may get rid of the sauna instead. It’s been a year and I have only missed the spa a couple of times. It’s expensive to keep items that I don’t use and purging seems to be on the agenda.