Day 220

Yesterday was not as expected: car wouldn’t start so I didn’t get to the senior center, overboiled soup, warped my wooden cutting board, signed up for the wrong driving course, vacuum cleaner bag exploded and left a mess, etc. The bright spot was the story/writing group. I enjoy the women and their sharing. We laugh a lot and support the sadness and tears that happen with emotional stories. There is connection between our experiences more than our differences. Life is good.

Day 219

Yesterday was a good one. Lots of positive connections and conversations. Today I’ll get on the mat and go through the whole series of exercises including the new one, plank. I know it’s working to manage the discomfort from my arthritic joints. Later, a cool walk and I’ll remember a scarf around my neck. It’s senior center duty, and story group. It’s good to have a group come here regularly so I get the floors dusted! I enjoy my busy life.

Day 218

Last museum day until May. Much as I miss Rick, I have enjoyed Max as a partner. Later I have a physical therapy session and since it’s been a slow week, I will have to work harder than ever to show progress. I cleaned another part of the back yard and filled the green bin. That is motivation. I’m paying for the bin so I want to use it regularly. I’m taking the on-line AARP driving class too. Lots of errands.

Day 217

Foggy morning. I did get an early walk and hope to do that again. First the exercises must be done. I skipped them yesterday and I can tell. The exercises must be routine like brushing my teeth to have impact on pain management. Sitting at the board of supervisors meeting comes next and then an afternoon with no agenda. Yesterday I heard so many stories about depression, sadness, missed and lost stuff. I did get to give an ear and hugs.

Day 216

I live here because it doesn’t get too hot or too cold. We have a few of these hot days in the fall and I’m glad there are only a few. I did pull vines out of the lemon trees but I couldn’t stay outside. Today will be hot again and I have the house open now for the cool air. Then I will close it up to keep the cool inside. Hoping for an early walk and I’ll exercise later.

Day 215

I went to Karen’s singing bowls meditation last night. I don’t like to go out in the evening and I can’t say that I enjoyed it. Sitting is not my friend and it was a long sit. I came home and went to bed with an achy body. This morning I will finish the floors before I exercise and walk. It’s beautiful outside: warm, calm, and calling me. The garden needs water. The sprinkling did little to help the dry spell.

POH

I was four years old when I had a long sickness with chicken pox. My mom said I was sick for 12 weeks. I do remember sitting in the bathtub while she poured soda water over me to help with the itching. Someone brought me a teddy bear. It was huge, had a red bow, and I loved it. The same day that it was new, my brother pulled out one of his eyes and lost it. The bear was my companion through numerous moves from that house in Reno, to two other places in Reno, through three houses in Missoula, three houses in Salt Lake City, a hotel in San Francisco and three houses in Eureka. Lots of hugs and dragging him around left one leg worn and tattered. He slept on my bed until I was eleven when I sat him on top of my chest of drawers along with a music box and a horse figurine. One night I heard noises and in the morning I investigated where I thought the noise was coming from and I found that a nest of mice were living in my teddy bears leg. I freaked and yelled. My mom ran into my room expecting a catastrophe and found me crying at the desecration of my longtime companion. She disposed of the bear and the family of mice. I felt the loss when I looked at the chest and felt guilty that I hadn’t noticed the bear for a long time.

Day 214

Started the day with a text conversation with Jackie. Never thought I would be one of the people with the phone connected to my hand, but there I am. It’s a quick and easy way to keep in touch. Sometimes I text someone and ask how they are and we have a catch-up conversation. I like it. Today is the three generation walk to the farmers’ market. I like that too. Laundry, orchid care, sweeping, walking, exercises to come later on.

Day 213

Friday, and aside from taking Della to the vet for a teeth checkup, it’s an open day. I want to investigate the back closet. I’ve decided to upgrade my wardrobe and I’ll start with what I already own. Lots of the things in that closet are leftovers from long ago when I worked. My life is so simple now that I rarely have any occasion to dress up. Yesterday I wore a blazer with jeans and a shirt and felt dressed up.

Day 212

I did work hard at PT and, of course, Brad added to the exercises to make me work harder. I can do it. On the walk home, I feel like dancing and singing. I’ll start with exercising and walking. It’s senior center duty and nothing later in the day. I’m beginning to like simple days. It’s the autumnal equinox and the lights are on here in my space and in the living room. It’s time to take out the candles too.

Day 211

Today will be another good one. I just know. That bug that has been bothering me since August 7^th has finally gone. My immune system is working again. I walked six miles yesterday in three walks and enjoyed every step. Karen’s massage was magical and I left her without a single ache or pain. After museum duty, I have a physical therapy session and I will do well there too. I’m keeping up with the exercises. I want to be strong.

Day 210

It’s almost a day to myself. I will have a massage this afternoon and that will be timely as I intend to do yard clearing beforehand. Yesterday was a good one. The senior center was chatty and cheerful. Sometimes it isn’t fun. The dogs and I had a walk to town and they were given cookies at the office supply store. And there were chicken pieces for extra dinner. My dogs live better than a lot of people in this town.

Day 209

After a good Sunday, I’m ready for an even better Monday. The morning routine is exactly how I want to start it, followed by fun at the senior center. This afternoon, I want to do yard work and clear out another space. It will rain again soon and I want to be ready for it. The gladiolas are through and I will cut the dry stems. The lemon trees have morning glory vines that I will pull out. It is fall. 

Day 208

Saturday ended better than it started. The headache abated, the walk with Hollie and Megan to the farmers’ market was its usual pleasant occasion. I took a long slow walk around town and enjoyed the activities at Beachfront park. Soccer games, kid birthday party, baseball game, skate park people, disc golf, dog walkers.  People all over the place on a beautiful day. My energy came back and all exercises were performed. I went to sleep before the Giants lost another game.

POH

Often when I would visit my mother in Sonoma, we would go to Calistoga for the spa treatments. It would begin with a shower and then into the mud bath tub. The cement tubs were cleaned with live steam between clients so we knew the mud was clean. The attendant would help us in and then scoop handsful of mud and cover us right up to our chins. Then a cool cloth was added to the forehead and we soaked in the mud. When the time was ready, the attendant would unscoop the mud until we could stand and help with the unmudding. Then after another shower and we were helped into the bath tubs full of bubbling mineral water. From there we went into the steam room and sweated a lot while drinking mineral water. Next was being swaddled in wool blankets and nestled in for a nap with a cool cloth on our foreheads again. Later, a massage on a limp and relaxed body. After we recovered, we dressed and headed down the street to one of the many bistros, had wine and cheese with crusty bread and sighed with pleasure. It is a good memory of time with my mother.  

Day 207

I may give in to my long desired goal of staying in my pajamas. I have been bone weary from ordinary activities and that’s not okay. Not sure more rest is the answer but it’s the best one I have. I find that I do not enjoy days with more than two scheduled items. I get overtired. This must be one of those age related things as until recently I loved staying busy all day long. I will exercise and walk.

Day 206

Errands and shopping this morning. First the dogs go to the groomer and I do my once a month visit to Walmart for vitamin supplements and peanut butter. I do not like to shop there but the alternative is driving to Brookings. Then off to Safeway and grocery outlet for stocking the emptiness in my kitchen. Later I’ll attend a meet and greet for Kathryn Murray.  I support her running for supervisor and will write her a check. It’s civic responsibility.

Day 205

Nine and half hours of sleep! Della and I are both feeling much better this morning. I’m ready for a good day. Senior center duty after exercises and a walk. Later is the writing/story telling group and it is the highlight of the week. The board of supervisors meeting was loud and boisterous in favor of Safeway and slapping Gitlin for abuse of power. I was glad to be part of it. Bully behavior needs to be called out and stopped. 

Day 204

Rosalie and I will take the IONS program next month and begin forming elder circles. She has so much experience and lots of enthusiasm. I’m stoked. Della is miserable and we had a restless night. Her mouth is hurting her as teeth were removed. No pain meds came home with her only anti-biotics and an anti-inflammatory. The PT session was cancelled so museum duty is all I have to do. Feeling tired and a short day is a good thing.

Day 203

Poor Della. No breakfast and she is confused about the break in routine. She goes to the vet in an hour for dental care and no food or water. Yesterday the kitchen and bathroom turned out beautiful. I know I’m well when I notice the crumbs in the drawers and the dust on the refrigerator. Today I will go to the board of supervisors meeting, Rosalie is coming for a conversation about conscious aging, and then I can bring Della home.

Day 202

Ready for Monday! Regular activities today: exercise, walk, senior center duty, and must add shopping either before or after the senior center. If I go home I won’t shop. I did sweep the floors yesterday and the orchids didn’t get their water therapy so that is added to today. Hoping to get the kitchen slicked up including the crumbs under the toaster. I wait until I can’t ignore the little messes. Nothing seriously dirty, just not shiny, tidy, and cared for.

Day 201

Damp morning and I’m feeling kind of gray myself. Had a long sleep and still feel tired. Is this another age related state? I’ll start the day with exercises and plan a walk. Later, church. I do want to go. It’s September 11 and the news is full of the disaster 15 years ago. I don’t want to relive it. Hallmark channel is my friend lately as I don’t want political news either. I have an isolationist attitude for emotional comfort. 

POH

My father was a insurance claims adjuster whose territory was from Garberville to Crescent city to Weaverville. It was probably more than that but those places are in my story. The summer I was 16, he had me drive all his business trips so I could get a lot of highway experience. He was a silent man and didn’t offer conversation or advice about my driving. Often when he had business, he would get me a candy bar and a magazine and I would wait, or we would stop for coffee and pie. Most of the trips were local like Arcata or Fortuna. On one trip to Garberville, we went into a restaurant for lunch. My father asked for a hot pork sandwich. The waitress said, “You will have to have beef.” My father replied. “I don’t have to have anything.” And we left and found another restaurant. On a trip to Crescent City, he had business in an auto dealership owned by Roy Deo. They decided to have lunch together at the Blue Roof restaurant. When the meal was over, the two men challenged each other over the check. What happened was neither of them had any money and I ended up paying the bill. On a trip to Weaverville, Father learned that the person he needed to interview was working in a cinnabar mine called King Solomon’s mine. It was in the Klamath primitive area and we turned off at Forks of the Salmon. The driving was scaring the pants off me but he sat and didn’t offer help or advice. One lane, dirt, straight down on one side and no place to go on the other. I did it. Found the mine, found the man and then had to make the return trip. A truck came toward us and I had to back down the road as he had the right of way. I was sweating a storm and my father sat like Buddha. He did instill confidence and I learned to depend on myself. 

Day 200

Standing in support was a great experience. I felt the connection with every other tribe across the country and across time. People in sync create a powerful grid. This morning is family time, farmers’ market with Megan and Hollie. I look forward to this seasonal event. Later I will tackle the potato patch. It is the last part of the garden that needs cleaning. The bales are prolific and need gleaning. I’ll find someone to come and harvest kale and chard.

Day 199

Woke up tired and creaky. Darn it all. I have a long day coming up and I wanted to be full of brisk energy. I am going to Klamath with Karen Rath to stand with the tribe in support of Standing Rock. The combining of tribes feels important. It is the largest native protest ever and what they are asking for is justice. Yesterday I felt acknowledged in so many ways. Thank you, Universe, for letting me feel visible and accepted. 

Day 198

After physical therapy I was sore again. I work hard there and Brad keeps piling on ways to make me work even harder. I needed ice and may use the cane for a day or two. Today after the exercises, I’ll walk briefly and then get ready for duty at the senior center. I enjoyed the museum duty yesterday. That’s what makes a good day for me: interesting people and activity that is appropriate for my abilities, sharing, and meaningful conversation.

Day 197

Sarah took care of the muscles knots and sore spots with her deep massage. Today I’m walking without pain. First exercises, then walk, then museum duty, then PT session, then a new experience. Karen has invited me to a sound healing. She has an anti-gravity chair and will tuck me in and play her singing bowls. I’m looking forward to it. The dog exams were good. Della needs dental work but aside from that, both dogs are doing well. Moving along.

Day 196

Woke up sore from the yard work. Had to walk off tight places. I had a dream that I was late for school and all the scurrying that surrounds that event. Haven’t had a dream about school for years. Don’t know what triggered anxiety. Yesterday I was invited to a BBQ and found that I was not prepared to be social. It was a group that I enjoy and like being invited and included even though I didn’t attend. New day.

Day 195

Church was comfortable. Not sure that’s the purpose. I do get a connection to spirit at communion. All in all, yesterday morning was very good and the rest of the day was flat. I did the exercises well and feel the effects. Today I’ll push myself as the yard needs tending. The kales and chards are huge and need to be shared. It’s Labor Day and a good day to be grateful for retirement. I have made a career from mine.

Day 194

Hoping for a better day. Long sleep and I’m feeling alert and ready for more. I want to do the physical therapy exercises. Yesterday my body said NO and this morning, I feel the need to stretch and move. So, water orchids, water the garden, walk, go to church. Haven’t been for a month and I need to define my relationship with church. If I’m in, then be in. If I’m out, then be out. This wavering is tiresome. Get moving.

POH

Way back in the 70’s I was into healthy eating. With the help of Adele Davis’ cookbook, Let’s Cook It Right, I started baking bread. Every Saturday morning I would bake two loaves that didn’t last long enough to cool. The same morning I would set a pan of beans or soup and my teen-aged kids would show up with friends just as the bread came out of the oven. It was a good time in our relationships. The pleasure of baking bread is not only in the appreciative eaters, but in the process. Watching the yeast begin the process and adding everything good for the body. The kneading, the watching the rising dough, the wonderful smells of the dough and especially the smell of the fresh bread. I branched out and made cinnamon rolls, bread sticks, pizza dough, sourdough bread and pancakes. It was therapy from the week at school and a bonding with the family.   

Day 193

Hollie and Megan and I will walk to the farmers’ market. It is the high point of the season. I enjoy every trip and especially when we go together. I want fruit again. My garden is supplying plenty of greens and I don’t need to buy any vegetables. With the long “cold” or whatever, the world feels smaller since I stay home more. I missed the senior center on Thursday and won’t have a duty until next Wednesday at the museum.

Day 192

I did exercise yesterday morning and then nothing the rest of the day. I had no energy and did not walk or do senior center duty. I did host our little group and that was the high point of the day. I don’t know why I’m so listless and need so much sleep. After 9 ½ hours last night, I should be dancing and singing. Not so much yet. Maybe the day will improve as I’m tired of whining. Let’s get going.

Day 191

I work hard at physical therapy. I sweat. I come home sore and smiling. Today I’ll begin with the exercises including the new one and that will get my system up and running. It’s writing group after senior center duty. I look forward to the gathering. It’s fun and growing closer. I have my two stories to share. Carol won’t be there as she is with Gene for tests and Karen is in Texas for the birth of her first grandchild.

Newsletter

One morning while waiting for the light to turn green, I noticed a homeless man waiting on the opposite corner. We met in the middle of the street and I smiled and said Good morning. He turned and began to walk with me. “Can you see me?” “Yes, I can see you.”” Can you hear me?” “Yes, I can hear you.” “You can see me and hear me.” “Yes, I can.”  I think I’m invisible.” “I guess everyone feels that way now and then”.” Do they pinch themselves?” “Maybe some do.”  “But you know I’m here.” “Yes. I know you are here.” He walked with me, rambling about a friend he hoped to see again and talked and talked. I turned toward him and said uh-hum often so he would know that I could see and hear him. “This is where I turn.” He smiled and said, “Now I don’t feel lonely.” He turned walked back the way he was going when we met in the street.

I carried that experience with me as I went through my day, smiling and acknowledging the people I met. I called the checker at the grocery store by name, smiled, and thanked her for her service. I was rewarded by her smile. I greeted everyone I had any interaction with that day by name when I could and thanked them or wished them a good day. I felt that it made my day better and brighter.  It has become a habit now.

The people who make commercials for television know that smiles sell. Behold, the sufferer with the furrowed brow suddenly breaks into a smile with the help of pharmaceutical products. I’ve noticed that their posture improves too. Do we need to pop a pill to feel like smiling? No. We just need to do it. There is evidence that smiles are contagious. One smile deserves another and that one goes out like dropping a pebble in a pond.

Back in 1900, French chemist Emile Coue told his patients to repeat: “Every day, in every way, I’m getting better and better.” And they did get better and better. Other doctors shook their heads in amazement. Later this was called the placebo effect as it used the subconscious mind to convince the person of their improvement. It’s a simple health plan, along with smiling and feeling grateful, saying a mantra that encourages progress toward health is as near and easy to do as the intention to be well.
Note founr on the golden Gate Bridge said, "If one person smiles at me, no one will read this."