Day 82

It’s been four years since Kim died. I will ask for prayers for him today, pray for peace. That’s all he wanted. I woke up from a very good sleep, no headache, no achy back. Great omens for starting a new week. It’s damp and calm, walking weather and I’ll be out early. Visited with Carol and Gene yesterday. She looked tired and he is not through. They didn’t take all the tumor out of his brain. I love them both.

POH

Kim died four years ago today. I talked to him on Saturday afternoon and he was not doing well – hallucinating and telling me that Suzanne was there and had stolen his meds. He said she talked the pharmacist into giving her more pills. He thought ants were crawling around his house. I asked if I could send help and he laughed. No, Mom, you know I’ll be OK tomorrow. I wasn’t driving at the time because of a neck injury. Can’t drive if the head won’t turn. And he was correct that other episodes ended with time. I asked him to call me the next day. He didn’t. On Monday, he wasn’t answering his phone and I called neighbor Judy. She knocked and knocked as I listened and then I asked her to call 911. The next call came from the officer who broke into his apartment and found him dead in his bed. I’m glad he wasn’t crumpled up on the floor. At least his last breaths were comfortable.

The business of his death was painful and difficult. On the other hand, I realized that he had made a life with his books, music, films, and his computer. He had a flying program that he loved. Flying over islands at night was his favorite part. Kim never blamed or complained about his handicaps, neither the mental nor physical ones. He lived a simple and brave life.