Day 190

Yesterday did not improve. Karen’s massage helped but it was an early bedtime and now a UTI has appeared. I want to be well! What am I missing? There must be a solution to the low immune response. I’m taking acidophilus and yogurt, walking, exercising, sleeping enough, and enjoying life anyway. This morning I was to go back to bed and whine. Instead, I will sweep the floors, go for a walk, do museum duty, and have another physical therapy session. 

Day 189

I worked up a sweat. No purpose in being at PT if I’m not going to work at the exercises. It would be a waste of time. I will go back until I feel confident. I can walk without the walking stick too. Today I need to look inward. The house needs attention and maybe the garden too. Later, a massage with Karen. Probably another early bedtime. The cold symptoms aren’t gone. I do want more activity or another creative project. 

Day 188

Another damp gray morning. I’ll walk early since it’s the first day of school and the streets will be busy. The pt exercises are working. I can tell by how far and how fast I can walk before any discomfort shows up. Today I have another session and I’m looking forward to coaching so I can be sure I’m doing them correctly. I’m there to learn to take care of myself, not to have them fix me. I can do it.

Day 187

It was another day of naps and early bed. It’s been more than three weeks since this illness started. Only made it to the third inning of the Giants game and I don’t know how it ended. After nearly 10 hours of sleep, I need activity but it may be watering the orchids and taking a walk. I did enjoy the market and brought home fruit. Love the peaches and plums. Almost time for pears and apples. I’ll start with exercises.

POH

I had been living alone in the house on El Monte and decided it was time to find a home for myself. I sold it in April, 1976. and moved into a funny little house in Hiouchi. It was a travel trailer surrounded on three sides by rooms and I loved living in it. I started looking at properties and it was in August that I found this house.  It was stuffed full of furniture and the yard was overgrown and uncared for but I saw it as a livable and convenient location. I wanted to be able to walk to town and later walked to CE and JH to work. The house was for sale for $23,000 and I said it was too much and offered $19,000 cash. The offer was accepted. Since then I have made a lot of changes beginning with the yard. The north side was covered with huge fuchsia bushes and I had them cut to the ground. Not good to have cover on the north side of a building. Chuck and Hollie moved in in 1980. I had new plumbing and wiring when I changed the kitchen into what was the laundry. Added the back porch in 1982 and the sun porch in 1989. The little house was converted from a stable to a house in 1983 when Megan was born and I wanted a place of my own. The dirt driveway was paved in 1993. The foundation was poured in 1994 and new windows put in the front porch. It has been my home for half my life.

Day 186

Yesterday started well and didn’t last. Oh well, naps and early bedtimes are not the end of the world. I’m obviously still not completely over the bug. I did get two walks and watered the garden. That was all. Today we will walk to the farmers’ market and social occasion. It’s such fun to go with Hollie and Megan. We don’t have many things that we do together. Maybe today the kale salad will happen. I sure have plenty of ingredients.

Day 185

Another gray morning. Nothing new happening and I’m ready for spontaneous activity. Always ready for new and interesting changes. These cold nights and cool days have stopped the tomatoes from ripening. Darn it all. Lots of greens and today I will make massaged kale salad with lemon and garlic from the garden. May look in closets for sorting. I have clothes that I never wear and they could move on and make room for new ones. My lifestyle is very casual. 

Day 184

The physical therapy session was productive. I have work to do to get and keep muscles that hold my bones in place. Brad took photos of my exercises so I can remember them. I’m ready to take responsibility for my mobility. The cold symptoms are nearly gone.  The exercises will happen before I walk. I still want an early bed time but sleeping well and ready for normal routine. Foggy and cold out again. I need my gloves and a neck scarf.

Day 183

My year is half over, half to go and I look for course corrections and accomplishments. Except for the recent cold and bone discomfort, I’ve been well. The new interest is Elder Circles that I am pursuing. The writing/storytelling group is wonderful and I’m delighted that I started it. The routine is okay and I’m open to change and addition of places, people, etc. I’m enjoying the garden and having Megan next door. Always room for more friends and creative projects.

Day 182

I came home a bit early yesterday from the senior center. Just ran out of energy. A couple of naps later I walked to the drug store for decongestant. Good nights’ sleep and today I want a normal day. First a walk, board of sups meeting, and a pressure check with Dr. E. That’s a five minute visit. More yard clearing might happen. The garden spot is nearly down to dirt. The cold nights are autumn like. My crane lights help.

Day 181

Didn’t go to church. Didn’t talk out loud until Kelle called. Quiet day with three short walks, one with dogs. They didn’t walk well on the right side. We’re still getting used to a new routine with the walking stick. Today I will go to the senior center. If I feel like coming home, I will. Megan shined her car for the start of commuting to Humboldt. She doesn’t have to leave so early this semester. I want my wellness back.

Day 180

I had three walks yesterday and enjoyed being out and feeling well. Still folded up early and slept well so I guess I’m out of the woods but not fully recovered. After I water the orchids, I will go to church. If I start coughing, I’ll simply leave. Need groceries early as I promised Megan a chicken for her lunches. She goes back to college tomorrow. I’m loving the crane lights. The glow is warm and makes me smile. Finish POH story.

When I was teaching at Pine Grove, I was the only single teacher in the fourth and fifth grades so it was my pleasure to accompany the top students on an overnight camping trip to Howland Hill Outdoor School near the end of the year. Ten students from each of our four classes were chosen for responsible behavior and good grades. The remainder of my students were distributed among the other classes. We took three parents and a helping crew for cooking the meals.

The bus picked us up early on a Thursday morning and we were at the school, unpacked, and ready for the day by 9 AM. The park rangers had a series of classes, games, and field trips planned to keep the group of 40 busy all day with breaks for meals and rest. By evening, the group would meet in the lodge for stories and singing until a ranger took them out in the night to listen to the dark forest and starry sky. The programs were fun and interesting and the kids were avid. Up early in the morning with chores and breakfast before another day of ranger-led classes. When it was time to pack up, nobody wanted to go. Back at school, no one wanted to go inside.

One year it rained and poured and then rained some more. We went anyway and I can tell you that there was never a group with better attitudes and energy on doing all the fun things anyway. We would go out for a study group, go back in the lodge, throw the wet coats over the rafters and they would steam in the heat of the wood stove. It was a little like a sauna but at the next chance, out they went again. I enjoyed every minute of the trips to the outdoor school.

Day 179

Errands and shopping happened plus two walks! Tired evening and early bed but it was a productive and comfortable day. Another gray August morning and my space is brighter with Megan’s gift of origami crane lights adorning the entrance. We both pulled weeds yesterday and I found a pet friendly spray for the dreaded morning-glory vines. Hoping for the green area to become real this week. Today, walk to the farmers’ market for fruit and green beans. Good life is back!

Day 178

It was a very good day! I walked to the post office and that was progress. I felt sick for a month and it was only a week. The cough is mild and infrequent. The regular writing/social storytelling group was its usual delight. Such an interesting group of women and such varied histories. I improved the cane by taking the beads off my talking stick and putting them on the walking stick. Today I’ll find colorful tape to improve it further.

Day 177

Modest improvement. A much more restful night and upright this morning. I plan on a regular day but will not go to do the senior center duty. I don’t want to spread the germs. Later I will host the story group. I can stay away from them while we share. I look forward to our meetings. I had a reply from conscious elders about circles. Hoping for contact with information. It’s a project that holds interest for me. I want involvement.

Day 176

I haven’t been sick enough to stay in bed since the Tsunami alert on Hollie’s birthday in 2011. Jon and Chris wanted me to evacuate with them and I said I would rather float away in my bed than get up. The fever dreams last night were of competition and proving something. I kept waking up wet, coughing and sneezing. Okay. Let’s get it over right now. I want to get back to health and well-being. I have things to do.

Day 175

Coughing, sneezing, miserable night. I’m disappointed in this cold as I have been working on strengthening my immune system. The dip in it may be from the stress of change. I admit to feelings of loss with the use of the cane. I guess I have associated canes with feeble old people and I don’t consider myself to be either old or feeble. It’s simply an aid to mobility until I get my core strong. I’ll accept it and get well.

Day 174

Woke up with a sore throat and an overall unwellness. Another quiet day is coming up. I walked yesterday and used the cane. I can get used to it but would prefer to understand what it does for my mobility. I don’t notice any change. Carrying my shopping bag in my right arm feels awkward. The dogs must change sides too. It’s sort of like folding my hands with the other thumb on top. It takes time to integrate new habits. 

Day 173

I don’t know why I’m using the cane. It doesn’t seem to make any difference to how I walk. Oh well, I said I would and I will. Maybe in time I can see the reason for it. Megan and I went back to the farmers’ market yesterday for Pilipino lunch. We like the skewered chicken. Great marinade. Gray cold morning and I’m planning another restful day. The orchids will get watered and that may be all the work I do.

POH

Way back in 1996 or so, whenever it was that I joined RSVP, I found a notice that the Senior News needed a distributer for Crescent City. As I was already planning a visit to my friend Alice Thrap in Eureka, I suggested to her that we find Barbara Clark’s office and learn more. There she was in her tiny office behind the pool tables in the basement of Humboldt Senior Resources on California Street. We talked a while and I said that some Del Norte news would create a readership and she said OK, you do it. In all these years, I have distributed 400 copies of the Senior News each month to various locations where seniors are likely to be and written essays about life with an emphasis on aging well and productively. I had written pieces for the Times-Standard’s Focus on 60 plus column and shared my writing with Barbara. I had to learn some computer skills that I hadn’t needed before then and how to send writing and photographs too.

Barbara and I became play friends with weekends of paper lanterns, banner books, altered books, all kinds of playing with paper and color. We shared our interest in dream work and Barbara came here to develop a dream group that included people that would not have otherwise had guidance in dreams. We shared journals and wrote together sometimes sitting on a log at the beach. We often decorated out journals with mandalas and poetry

Knowing Barbara as an editor and learning to follow her themes and word count were parts that I often violated and she patiently led me back. I like 500 words more than 400, feeling that I was leaving out an idea and learning to be concise as a reward. I did play with her themes. She says write about pets and I wrote pet peeves and pet projects. Well, it’s about pets, isn’t it? I will admit that I thought about retiring with her and am wondering if the new editor will put up with my foolishness. It would be a difficult transition except that I know it will mean that Barbara will have time for more play times. She wanted to go along when I distribute the paper so she can see the places and people who look forward to the receiving each new month’s issue. Now we have both retired from Senior News.

Day 172

After a thorough examination and manipulation, the PT named my pain source: sacroiliac joint. I will get core exercises to strengthen the muscles that should be holding the joint in its proper place. Meanwhile, I’m to walk with a cane and I don’t like that at all. I felt that I had new information and that always motivates me to get busy and do my part. I want mobility and if that means a walking with a cane, so be it.

Day 171

Pain in my right hip pretty much grounded me yesterday afternoon. Sore this morning but moving slowly. This morning I’m having a physical therapy evaluation for arthritic discomfort. I don’t know what that means yet. I’m expecting to learn exercises to strengthen muscles that hold my bones in place. I’m ready to do whatever they instruct as I want mobility. Wednesday was a good day followed by a poor yesterday. I did get a couple of walks before my body quit.

Day 170

No replies from two elder groups. I guess I’ll have to invent circles. I hoped and expected interest in my questions. It’s a new and necessary movement as there are more elders every day and most don’t have connections to others or to socializing. Today I’ll socialize at the senior center while enjoying Charlie’s pizza lunch. I’m moving slowly this morning and hope to walk out the sore spots. This aching body cuts down on enjoyment. There must be a solution.

Day 169

Lovely morning. No wind yet. I’ll get the best of the day with an early walk. I do enjoy my routine. If it ever lacks pleasure, I’ll do something else. Today is museum duty and I’ll take my notebook. Last week I wrote a note to Dona. This day I want to add to my memory list and come up with new palm of the hand snapshots. It is fun to write them as details like dates and places aren’t important. 

Day 168

Exciting invitation from Conscious Elders Network. I get a rush about going to a conference and spending time with others who want to work on community connections. Traveling, sitting, going away, etc. bring discomfort. I have had wonderful experiences by taking risks with new people and places. I like to explore ideas and brain storm. I’m not going to do it. What I will do is contact the group and hope for a person who will keep in touch with me.

Day 167

A good sleep makes a ton of difference in attitude and physical comfort. My feet don’t feel like they are dragging. Today I will walk early and then get ready for senior center duty. I’m ready to be social. Yesterday I felt flat and frail although I did get out and walk later in the day. Maybe I felt better because I asked for a healing prayer from Fr. David. My immune system and connection to Spirit have both been low.

Day 166

Tired. My body didn’t want to quiet down and let me sleep. I don’t know why I’m in pain at night. Finally a couple of ibuprofen let me drift off for a short rest. Today I am going to church. Haven’t been for a month and I’m going because it is a day of reconciliation. I don’t know what happens to my connection there. I can list many reasons but it is a feeling in my gut that keeps me away.

POH

The freshman class at Humboldt State in 1952 numbered 151 students. I was one of them. I finally graduated in the summer of 1964.  Small things made my education take longer than the usual four years. I was married at the end of my sophomore year at age 19 and only four month later, I was pregnant. Determined to finish my college education, I commuted from Scotia to Arcata every school day and that was before freeways. My 20^th birthday presents that year were maternity clothes as the last skirt wouldn’t button comfortably. There were varied responses to my new wardrobe. The first day I was in a curriculum class when the teacher asked everyone to close their eyes. “You must learn to be observant. Barbara, tell us something you noticed this morning.” She replied, “Sharon is wearing a maternity smock.” I turned red. The teacher did too. She told me later that she hadn’t noticed. As the pregnancy advanced the twin embryos showed a lot. The hills of Humboldt became steeper and steeper as I huffed and puffed from Founders’ Hall down to College Elementary School. Two classes that were as far from each other as possible. My art teacher, Reece Bullen, announced that I was the only student who could sit and do nothing and still be the most creative student in the class. The PE methods teacher put a basketball under his shirt and made fun of my increasingly odd walking method. The children’s literature teacher, Miss Libby Ward, gave me a C in her class. I went to the Dean and said that I had not missed a class or an assignment and had an A on every test. He called her in and she said, “Pregnant women don’t belong in college.” And with her tight little mouth she said to me, “Where is your modesty?” I got my A in the class. By May I could no longer sit in the student desks and had a problem getting behind the steering wheel in my car. The boys were born about five weeks after the semester ended.

Day 165

I enjoyed the fair and time in the Dem booth. Conversations and connections. I like belonging there. Today is another cool August start. I was glad for my big coat and scarf. Later Hollie and I will walk to the farmers’ market. It’s at the harbor since the fair is taking up the usual space. I’ve been looking at my memory list for another POH. I want a new subject as the flickering flip book of the past gives up glimpses.

Day 164

Cool enough to turn the heater on. Typical August marine layer. Yesterday I was so cold that it took an hour to get warm again. Later I will walk to the fair for duty in the Dem booth. First I will see the pigs. I like the way the curl up together in the pens. I may eat some awful fair food like a greasy sausage and onions. Haven’t done that for years and for some reason, it is appealing today.

Tri-tip sandwich

Day 163

This afternoon the storytelling  group will come. Karen is bringing her scones for us. I enjoy our time together very much. But first, a cool walk with scarf and hat, followed by senior center duty. It’s a good routine. If it ever feels like a rut, I’ll change it. I do enjoy new people, new places, and new experiences. I have a realistic evaluation of my energy budget and I make sure it matches my interests. Mornings are the best time.

Day 162

Another good day coming up starting with a cool calm walk. The house will get a dusting and more weeds will be rerouted into the green bin. The gladiolas suffered in the wind yesterday. They bend but don’t break. I enjoy their tall color. I will send a note to Dona. I promised to keep in touch with her. She needs lots of encouragement to move and enjoy her life. My life is full of activity and people. I created it.

Day 161

It will be a brisk walk before a trip to do errands. Off to the feed store for dog food and to see if the chickens are still laying. I like the local eggs. Later I will finish Megan’s sod patch. I pulled a ton of weeds and have to hoe the rest. Then cut chard and red kale to take to Sarah when I go for massage. My tech self struggled with sending a letter to the editor. Mental exercise.

Day 160

Calm blue morning and I’ll be out soon for my routine walk. Minor straightening up is all the house needs and the bales are watered. I’ll collect lettuce and peas for Cheri. Yesterday I had naps and movies plus the Giants won. Sort of an R&R day. I am wondering why I have needed so many days like that lately. One thing I know is that I’m pulling up from the doldrums that defined July. What I want now is progress.